Burning Sagebrush
by HateMePretty
Summary: King Midas turned many people to gold. He was a myth, a story from Greece. But it seems that he does exist, killing so many. The pandemic known as the thirst for money is my fear. Why? Because it is killing me. I am losing myself because of this thirst. My family went, falling to insanity. They sold me, and I know I cannot escape. I am Sagittaria Rosier, and I am burning.
1. Chapter 1: The Boggart of Gold

**A/N: Hello! This is Ever and I will be your author! Yep, I'm strange. Anyways, this is a story you have just clicked on to read. It has 1,421 words without this author's note. I wrote this on a two hour plane ride, please read and review and enjoy!**

**Disclaimers: are really annoying because you all know I own nothing of the Harry Potter series.**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**/Ever/**

::0123456789::

_Money, money, money_

_Must be funny_

_In a rich man's world_

_Money, money, money_

_Always sunny_

_In a rich man's world_

_-Money, Money, Money by ABBA_

::0123456789::

Money kills. Literally.

I've been a first hand witness to terrible things. Torture, death, misery, sorrow, wealth, power crazed people, selfishness.

Maybe you don't already know, but power and money drives people to the brink of insanity. A cent more will push them over, and it becomes a place of no return.

I've lost everything to this epidemic. My parents. Grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Cousins. Great aunts. Great uncles. Friends.

And now I'm losing myself. Not in the same way, though. I'm being sold as a trophy, and all I am to everyone is a piece of gold. A vault in a bank. A statue.

A trophy.

But I don't want to be a trinket. I never wanted to be. And my mother's cousin- I liked to think of him as an uncle- saved me, for a bit. Until he fell, too.

It seems it's only fate that I became one of them, drowning in a sea of gold. I was so terrified of what they became that I had no choice but to join them.

I wish I could say I knew a way out, but I don't. I can't get out and I am so horrified. I am stuck and I cannot get out.

Just like the others.

I have lost myself.

It is my turn.

My turn to become gold, my turn to die.

My turn.

Should I have tried harder? Yes. Should I continue to try harder? Totally. Do I? No.

I have no will anymore. I cannot go on.

I am Sagittaria. This is this story of how King Midas added me to his collection.

::0123456789::

Another day at Hogwarts. Another day slaving away. Another day fading to gold. Another day.

I rolled over when Fiona shouted at me to awaken.

I stared at the velvet curtain for a few seconds, just like every morning for the past three years.

And following that pattern, Fiona ripped the curtain away.

"Up! Now! Move, Sagittaria!"

Insert groan.

"Moving," I mumbled, easing myself up and out of bed. My feet shuffled until they hit my trunk with a dull thunk.

Just like every other morning.

I went about just as I did every other morning, shoving my body into my uniform and stuffing my feet into the killer black high heels my grandparents bought me and my girl friends force me to wear most mornings.

I sluggishly wobbled over to my dresser on the opposite wall. The other three girls were poised on stools and meticulously brushing colours onto their cheeks and painting a perfect face.

I copied them.

We all used expensive creams and perfect colours and designer brushes, applying thick coats of our makeup to cover the blemishes nobody could ever find out existed.

Sixty minutes later, at six forty five, we were all dolled up.

We gracefully descended the steps in two groups- Millicent, Daphne, and Pansy, then Fiona and I.

Perfect.

We immersed ourselves meaningless conversations, gossiping about who is dating who, who is disowning who, who called who what, and other topics.

Perfect.

We navigated the corridors and made it to the Great Hall the same time as the giant clock chimed seven.

Perfect.

We held our heads high as people glared and mocked, flourishing in the negative attention. It was what we wanted, after all.

Perfect.

We were the third year Slytherin girls, the perfect pure bloods, the bullies, the cliques, the masked.

We were the gold.

We chatted in our practised voices as we sat down in our unofficial-but-still-official seats. Every Slytherin had one. On the left side, closest to the wall, sat the boys. Across sat the girls.

Then went year. Seventh years sat closest to the Head Table. Firsties went at the end, by the door.

And last came rank, family name, blood purity, wealth, anything like such. The highest in your year and gender sat closest to the front of your year, closest to the older students.

This was the seating that matter most.

Third years were close to the middle, but not yet there. We were just a year too young.

In our year, there was the normal inequality: one more guy than the girls. We had four girls and five guys.

You want the seating chart? Here:

Girls-

Closest to HT- Sagittaria {Me}

Next- Fiona

Third- Pansy

Fourth- Daphne

Last- Millicent

Boys-

Closest to HT- Draco

Next- Vincent

Next- Gregory

Next- Theodore

Last- Blaise

That's it. The stupid chart. Who's gold, silver, or bronze.

Draco, my cousin, and I were so close up because we had a perfect family. Sure, there had been two disownings in the family in our parents' generation- an aunt of ours and a cousin of theirs- but that mattered not in these rankings. The Ancient and Noble House of Black was pure.

Fiona had a Squib great-great-great-great-great aunt, so that put her down a bit. Then, Pansy's mother had had a muggle great-great uncle.

Worst was Daphne. Her parents had been neutral in the First War- and that had cost them their status.

Sometimes the seating chart would coincide with our arranged marriages. And yes, those still happen for most of the pure blood marriages. I am a product of one, after all.

For example, Fiona and Vincent are to be married once Vincent turns twenty one. Gregory and Pansy are arranged for two months later, when Gregory turns twenty one. Even Millicent is 'engaged' to Theodore for his twentieth year.

Out of us girls, both Daphne I am across from someone I will not marry. I am across from my cousin, and that is far too close in the family line to be married. Third cousin happens every once in a while, but any closer relations is considered disgusting and desperate.

No, I an to be married at the young age of eighteen when Cassius Warrington, a fifth year, becomes twenty. Draco has Astoria Greengrass, a second year, for when he turns nineteen.

Even Blaise is arranged for Emily Ollaria, a second year two down from him. Daphne, the older sister to Astoria, is arranged for Fergus Cowley.

The saddest part of this is that as soon as my mother found out she was pregnant with a girl, there was a form of auction for me to be arranged. I was born with my future husband in the room.

A sad concept.

We ate our perfectly balanced meal for Thursday mornings. Scrambled egg whites with a dash of salt and just a smudge more pepper, with three small strawberries and a piece of plain, whole wheat toast.

A sad breakfast.

In exactly fifteen minutes, we were done.

Another ten minutes of empty conversation later, we made it to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. I saw no point in the class. If we really hated the Dark Arts, they would only exist in foreign countries.

A sad truth.

::0123456789::

The lesson went on as Professor Lupin droned on about boggarts and how to defeat them. I pretended to participate, but my worst fear often caused me to hyperventilate, so I dared not try.

We lined up in from of the wardrobe. I got stuck in from of Weasel. I mean, Weasley.

Quicker than I could blink, Fiona was facing her fear of water, making it evaporate.

My turn.

The boggart shifted form, taking on a shiny gold hue and splitting apart to form hundreds of galleons on the floor.

People around me gasped, confused. My grip tightened on my wand, my palms sweating. My breathing was quickening and I couldn't slow it down.

"Ridik-," I began, my voice faltering as the gold took shape into the familiar body of my uncle, his curly black hair added on top of the gold body.

"Ridikulous!" I attempted, trying to imagine him melting.

It wasn't working.

Uncle Pads stepped close, reaching out a hand to touch my hair, and I froze. It seemed so real. I could see him there.

"Sage, I'm sorry. I have to go, I'll be back, hon, I promise. I just gotta go deal with Tails for scaring you like that. I love you, Sage."

Professor Lupin rushed forward, but not before I could collapse from oxygen deprivation.

Stupid hyperventilation.

::0123456789::


	2. Chapter 2: Flower's Visit

**A/N: It's been what.. Five months? Sorry, I've had this written for a while. I just haven't posted. I'll post the third chapter soon- probably tomorrow- so... Yeah. Now that school's out for me, I'll be was more free to update. Sorry again.**

**WORD COUNT: 1,309**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Harry Potter, I would not be this young.**

* * *

This is a gift, it comes with a price

\- Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), by Florence + the Machine

::0123456789::

Voices passed by my ear. I think I recognised some, but I couldn't process who was who.

My eyes fluttered open, and I saw fuzzy images of people rushing around, a white background.

I love you, Sage, was all I could hear. Uncle Pads. And his broken promise.

How could I not have realised he was all gold by then?

"Miss Rosier, glad to see you are awake."

I blinked, wishing things would focus just a smidgen more.

"You seem to have hyperventilated due to your fear."

"I apologise," another voice, deeper, probably a man's, apologised.

"It's not your fault I couldn't face my fear," I quickly told, hoping that the man, presumably Professor Lupin, would not feel too bad for my failure.

"Yes, but I should've asked who was ready and who wasn't," he persisted.

I shrugged.

Professor Lupin left.

"Miss Rosier, is something wrong?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

I nodded. "It seems that the world will not focus."

"Let me run some tests on your eyes," Madam Pomphrey decided.

I nodded, and she led me to a chair by a machine behind a curtain in the back of the room.

After loads of tests, Madam Pomphrey finally told me what.

"You need glasses. I've got your prescription, but you'll have to pick out frames and they'll have to deliver. The next week or two will be hard, as you will not be able to see very well, but you can push through."

I nodded. "When will I pick out the frames? Should I write a letter to my grandparents telling them the situation?"

"This weekend. But I will write your grandparents."

::0123456789::

I was dismissed by Madam Pomphrey later that day.

Life went on as a blur, hazy shapes and colourful blobs marking people and objects. Professor Lupin always glanced at me, guilty.

The night after I was released, I sat in the Common Room, doing homework.

I was glad. I could see the words clearly, just as I could before. Maybe it was the closeness, I had no idea.

Fiona was avoiding me, along with Emma, Elizabeth, and the boys. It was like I was the plague, the way that not only my year, but all years tried to stay as far away as possible. I like it, though. The isolation, the loneliness- of sorts, I guess. All the thoughts in my head kept me occupied.

Uncle Pads' voice echoed in my ears, the only words I could hear. It was like he was back to haunting me. Back for more.

::0123456789::

I was tossing and turning in my toddler bed, unable to sleep. I kept wondering why I was back at Nanna and Papi's house- they had never quite liked me before, lest they should now.

They would glance at me the flick their eyes away. I must have looked awful for them to do so. And not only that, but they would speak monotonously, only ever calling me Sagittaria. I remember Uncle Pads mentioning that to be my name, but Sage was better. It was shorter, prettier. Simpler.

Much like the time before now.

I kept remembering the night Uncle Pads left me at Flower and Prongs' house with Prongsie.

The flashes of green beautiful light and the screaming and crashes.

I started to see Pads there with Wormy, and the street and the ashes and...

My breaths were shallower than ever before. Never had I remembered these things so intensely, as though I was back there again.

Screams tore from my lips, pain and sorrow trapped inside me released.

Nanna and Papi rushed in, berating me for the screams. I just cried, unable to stop. They didn't understand, did they?

::0123456789::

I must have dosed off in my chair, I realised. I woke up with a neck cramp and textbooks and rolls of parchment spread all around me, hair messy and makeup smeared.

The fuzzy shapes beyond the objects closest to me looked like an empty common room, so I must've woken up either early or late. I'm not sure which.

"Sagittaria?" A soft voice whispered from the entrance to the girls' dormitory staircase.

I twisted my head to glance in the direction, squinting my eyes to see the speaker. To make sense of the senseless, shapeless colours.

The anonymous girl approached, gracefully setting herself on the chair arm of my chair.

"What happened? They're all staring at you oddly, and you're squinting, and there are rumours... Sage, what's going on?"

Astoria, I identified. She was a second year, but she and I understood the need to branch out of our inferno, our fiery place, our residence of death.

I turned my head to stare at the words on the page of my textbook. I clenched my hands into fists, perfectly manicured nails digging into my skin.

Did she see all the blood that stained my clothes, and the tears that drenched my face? Did she know that I was a misfit and a traitor? That my family didn't want me? That my worst fear began as a prize?

"Just a Defence lesson," was my plain response, simple words coating the true meaning. Defence Against the Dark Arts was a useless lesson, often complained about, in our Slytherin world. Did those classes matter to us, future murderers and Azkaban convicts?

"Oh. Well. Goodnight, Sage."

She pressed a miss to my forehead and hugged me, the metaphorical little sister she was.

"Goodnight, Story," I reciprocated, hugging her tightly before allowing her to stumble back to the girls dormitory steps.

"You should sleep," a voice whispered in my ear a while later, the voice of a long gone family friend.

"I guess you're right, Flower," I whispered back. She was dead and gone, but she was still there to watch out for me.

She laughed. "As my husband once told me, I'm always right." She grinned cheekily at me, reaching over to brush a few wispy blonde strands away from my face and tuck them behind my ear.

"But he's not," I pointed out, knowing for sure that he wasn't.

"Well, love, sorry. But you outta sleep. I'll tuck you in," Flower bribed.

I immediately caved. Flower was the mother I could never have. I loved acting like a kid, and her like a mom she could never be. Not with the tragic twist fate had taken.

So I cleaned up, and Flower tucked me in. She kissed my forehead and whispered a goodnight.

"I love you, Sage."

"I love you too, Mummy Flower," I whispered back sleepily, calling her the same name I had so long ago. Back before everything had happened.

And Flower walked off, facing as she did so, vanishing before she reached the door.

I miss you, I thought desperately.

::0123456789::

When I awoke in the morning, I felt terrible. My blurry vision bugged me by one belief, and I was remembering Pads... I hate it.

So I pretended I was normal and went about just as every other morning. But they blurry haze that was everything made me feel dizzy and sick. I had only just emerged from the bathroom in clothes when I fell to the floor in a heal, the whirling world and my spinning stomach combining to cause me to throw up.

Fiona promptly went me to the hospital wing, dragging me behind her. We took all secret passageways so as not to be seen, and I was groaning the whole way.

The last thing I remembered was collapsing into a hospital bed, staring up at the stark white ceiling, when, yet again, the world went black.


	3. Chapter 3: Photo Albums and Star Scars

**A/N: Done! I'm so nice, you get two updates in one day. The next update should be soon enough, I'll be focusing on this, The Dating Game, and Arms of The Ocean until I'm done with them. I can't wait for this story to all be done up, because I have the perfect ending in mind. I might put in a sequel, though, because I have an idea for that too. I just need time to write it out. Please enjoy this chapter, I like it the best thus far!**

**WORD COUNT: 2,370**

**DISCLAIMER: Oh, J.K. Rowling, the rights? To me? You're so generous! Now there are no disclaimers and I can bring characters back to life and make my stories cannon! Wait, what? But it's not even April Fool's Day! Now, that's just cruel. Because now I still have no ownership rights. *Sigh* I guess the Plan will have to commence later. Until then, we're still AU, Sage.**

* * *

Who_ is the lamb and who is the knife?_

_\- Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), by Florence + the Machine_

::0123456789::

When I came to, Prongs was hovering over me. He stared at me worriedly, then jumped back in surprise when my eyes fluttered opened.

"Sagey, you scared me!" Prongs unnecessarily proclaimed, shouting rather loudly. I rolled my eyes in return. How could Flower ever stand him, let alone fall in love with him?

"Fine, Sage. Be that way. I'll go back to Flower now," Prongs announced, pouting and turning away. I giggled.

"Come back later," I whispered near silently. "Then we can talk."

Prongs gave me a nod and turned his head to flash me a bright smile, before walking through the doors of the Hospital Wing.

"Rather unfortunate that you're back here already, Miss Rosier," Madame Pomphrey commented a moment later, rushing about. All I saw was a blur I surmised to be her from the voice I recognised.

But suddenly I couldn't think anymore. Flower and Prongs together, in such a quick succession, was affecting me. Nightmares of Pads and Moony. Wormy there. Marlene and Dorcas and Fabian and Gideon and Alice and Frank and all of them...

... They swam around in my blurry eyes, images taking shape all around me. They blinked and smiled and held out their hands for a handshake. But all too soon they shifted, screaming and shaking, faces melting to the floor in pools of blood. The world began to burn, hot flames reaching the ceiling and consuming everything as the walls crumbled to dust. Jets of light streamed from every which direction in varying colours, varied screams sounding in my eardrums, louder than sirens.

The vivid nightmare controlled me and possessed my every sense. This was not my perfect life, not anymore. Now I was not only a little unwell, but I was a mental case.

Madame Pomphrey didn't notice. She just bustled about the Wing, grabbing potions before approaching me and shoving them down my throat.

"You're free to go," she eventually told after force-feeding me numerous potions.

I moved and left, but not before she could remind me to lie down for the rest of the day and that tomorrow I needed to come in for my glasses.

::0123456789::

I spent the rest of the day up in my dorm, reading a Muggle book I had secretly ordered. It was called Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Even though I had only gotten it last year, it was my favourite book and I had read it about a bazillion times. It was very fancy, blue-leather bound, with gold shimmering on the side. Neat scribbles were in nearly every margin, favourite quotes highlighted. Everything was colour coded for which time read through I had marked it. The first time read was sky blue ink and highlights, second was orange, third was crimson, fourth emerald, and now it was royal purple.

I loved this book.

I spent the time reading, from Elizabeth's visit to Rosings to her unintentional meeting with Mr. Darcy at Pemberly. Pemberly reminded me of the old manor Pads basically raised me in when he took care of me. Forests and gardens and rivers and meadows with a ginormous house- yes, the descriptions matched.

When I heard footsteps outside the door, I dog-eared the corner of my page and shoved it under my mattress, diving under the covers and changing my breath so that I looked asleep.

The door opened, and I heard the whispers of Emma, Elizabeth, and Fiona wafted over to my "sleeping" body.

"Sh!"

"Why?"

"She's asleep."

"Did you understand her boggart?"

"No, but it looked awfully like that dreadful Sirius Black."

"Don't forget the Galleons!"

"You know what I really don't understand?"

"What?"

"Why our parents support the Dark Lord but hate Sirius Black. He's in our side, after all."

"I don't get it either."

"I just wish that whole Dark Lord business could be over and done with already."

"Me, too."

"You've got my vote."

They fell silent.

"Come on, we need to work on our Defence homework."

"I still don't get why we have to take that subject."

"I don't know why, either."

::0123456789::

I awoke and glanced at my watch I had left on my wrist. A candle still lit on my bedside allowed me to read the time as 2:55 A.M.

Prongs must've missed me and felt deprived of conversation, for I saw him. He sat at my side, looking down on me with a sorrowful expression. The clearness of his body, the way I felt him brushing my hair behind my ear, the way I heard him humming my favourite lullaby, it all mixed together and brought tears to my eyes.

Prongs smiled bitterly when he saw that I was awake. "I was missing you, Sage," he whispered sombrely. He had tears glistening in his hazel eyes; so realistic I almost forgot that he wasn't truly alive.

"Prongs, what's wrong with me?" I meekly wondered, hoping to understand why I saw him and Flower and all the others. Why I was so afraid of money. Why I had the memories. Why I was such a failure.

"You've seen too much, Sage," Prongs sadly answered, tears welling up in his eyes. "You've seen too much."

::0123456789::

The weeks passed by uneventfully, the months. Ridicule followed me around after I received glasses, but I mastered contacts within a week, determined, and hadn't needed the bothersome accessory since.

Professor Lupin called for me after the lesson. It was near time for the holidays, but his transformation would also occur simultaneously.

Harry Potter also stood beside his desk when I approached. Professor Lupin smiled kindly, and offered both Potter and I a seat.

I swallowed discreetly, fear gripping at me. I remembered him, but did he remember me? Hopefully not- that would be disastrous.

"Sagittaria, Harry, glad you could join me," Professor Lupin beamed.

I stayed silent for a moment, debating on using manners or not. My silent side won out, as always. The coward I harboured inside me, the coward that had paralysed me all those years ago and kept its hold ever since.

Harry glanced sideways at me- a prim, perfect Slytherin, full of pure blood prejudice. He was the well known Boy-Who-Lived.

"Harry was questioning me on the unfamiliar entity in his parents' photo album the other day," Lupin explained to me; smile still plastered on his face.

My heart dropped into my stomach, heavier than any boulder could ever get. I steeled my nerves and held my breath, no air entering or leaving for fear of hyperventilation. This could not be happening, not at all. A panic attack would occur, that much I was sure of. I couldn't remember that night, not ever again, not unless it was the anniversary. Even then, I was prepared and acted sick.

Lupin noticed my discomfort. "Sage, you have nothing to fear."

All Prongs', Flower's, and Padfoot's training came back in full force. I exploded for the first time ever, and I was standing in an instant.

"Nothing to fear, you say? Hm, no, absolutely nothing! Just the entirety of the school finding out, seeings how nothing can stay secret when it comes to Boy Wonder over there! No, all I have to fear is my entire family's reputation being ruined; all I have to fear is the lethal panic attacks striking again! All I have to worry about is everything, my entire life I built from the destroyed ashes you left remaining, all crashing and burning, most likely killing me in the process! You were gone before any repercussions began, before I couldn't breathe at nights and was nearly strangled daily!"

I paused here, my face undeniably flushed, my breathing fast and erratic. I felt exhaustion sweep over me from my quick and sudden outburst, and collapsed into the wooden chair I had risen from.

Lupin and Potter eyed me apprehensively, as though I was a grenade ready to explode at any second. Given, I had exploded at a moment's notice without hesitation seconds earlier.

"Boy Wonder?" Potter eventually asked.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You have a problem with it?"

He shook his head violently. "Nope, perfectly fine. Best nickname I've ever had!"

I think Lupin had taken something illegal when he began laughing really hard. Both Boy Wonder and I stared at the deranged professor who was currently gasping for air.

"Sorry," he apologised apathetically.

I raised my eyebrow again.

"You two reminded me of a conversation between two of my friends back in their first year," he explained.

"Prongs and Flower?" I guessed unthinkingly. They both went silent, Potter in confusion, Lupin in surprise.

"You remembered?"

He didn't dare raise his voice above a whisper. It was too reverent a question. I nodded and bit my lip, worried.

"Who?" The clueless Boy Wonder inquired.

I turned toward Lupin. "You get to explain. I was too young."

He glared and I laughed.

Sighing, Lupin turned toward Potter, "Prongs and Flower were Sage's nicknames for your parents when you two were toddlers."

Silence reigned.

"Your father and mother were close friends of mine. Sage and you argue just like they did at your age. When you were kids, you two would always play together. Attached at the hip."

The one question I was dreading spilled from Potter's mouth.

"How did she know us?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and staring at Boy Wonder. "My mother's cousin had taken me from my mother when I was a few days old. It was to protect me, she was a Death Eater. He raised me and we were at your house loads. He had left me there on Halloween when I was three, and that was the night you became the Boy Who Lived. I was hit with the curse, just remnants of it. It's not in the books because I'm not to be remembered. The Ministry wouldn't take my word and arrested my mother's cousin for apparently causing their deaths, which he didn't. I've been living with my grandparents since. Make sense?"

My thoughts were a little scattered. I was never articulate when I spoke my story- which had only ever been spoken in private before.

Lupin winced. "Sage, you know, he really did-"

"Don't!" I warned, holding a hand up and glaring. "I was at the street, he took me there, I saw it. You didn't. I may have been only three, I may have just been through trauma, but I swear in my life that it was Wormtail's fault."

"Don't saw things like that," Lupin frowned.

"I can when they are true," I snapped.

"I'm still confused."

"Aren't you idiotic Gryffindors always?" I muttered bitterly. Both Boy Wonder and Lupin were offended by above comment.

"What's a Death Eater? Who is your mother? Who is your mother's cousin? What did the Ministry think he did? Why aren't you in the books?"

Question after question.

"It had never mattered, nor will it ever," I spoke coldly.

"So, are you the one in the photos?" Boy Wonder attempted to clarify. I nodded stiffly.

"Do you remember?" He quietly asked, a sheepish look adorning his features. I nodded yet again.

"Do you have any scar from that night?"

Stupid Boy Wonder and his stupid questions and my stupid, stupid subconscious responses. Without thinking, I nodded, and lifted a hand to my cheek- to the spot where my glamoured scar was- an imprint of a star.

"Can I see?"

I regained control over myself. I shook my head and pushed Boy Wonder out of the way, rushing to the door. It opened without even a touch, and I rushed out. The door slammed shut and I guided myself through secret corridors to the Slytherin Girls' Dormitories (I knew my way around- whether the passages had existed before or not).

The didn't see me- not with my charm I had casted- and I was able to successfully hide myself in my bed and curl up with Pride and Prejudice, with nobody to notice.

I waved my wand and the glamour charms and makeups were taken off immediately. I was free of those stupid ways to hide- not that anyone was ever the wiser. I was hiding, and I despised it.

I started to cry. My silencing spells were all up, privacy guaranteed.

"Oh, Elizabeth, you are so lucky. Don't you see? Mr. Darcy has to keep up a fake for his family's sake, when you can be outspoken and say everything you want. You may feel oppressed, but you are free in a way I can never be. When faced with a choice, I will run. You will see me collapse. Please, Elizabeth, don't waste your precious gift of freedom."

I could not stop the horrible sobs that escaped afterwards. I was lost to sorrow, sorrow that I could never live in freedom.

Flower was free. Prongs was free. Alice and Frank and Fabian and Gideon and Wormtail and Boy Wonder and all those ruddy Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were all free while we, the Pureblood Supremists, were stuck in a never ending circle, a cage, or "decisions" that were all predestined for us. Nobody would ever realize how hard it was to be the cold ones, to be the cut off ones, to be the ones causing the pain.

Because for me, there was no decision.

Because it was all handed to me on a platter, I did not get to choose what was made, I did not get the opportunity.

Was it better to be the inflictor or the sufferer?

Who was the one sacrificing more?

Who was the one giving themselves up?

Who was the one that was truly hurt?

"Oh, please. Flower and Prongs and Alice and Frank and Fabian and Gideon and Marlene and Dorcas and Regulus and all of you… Why can't I be free, too?

"Why do I not deserve it?"

I paused.

"Why am I the one to slowly die every day because of my supposed 'choices?'"

_They are not mine. _

_They are Sirius Black's choices._

_Not mine._


	4. Chapter 4: A POtions Catastophe

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated again. I'll try to write as many chapters this week as possible, but I won't gauarantee anything. I hope you like it! Please review! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter... I would probably not be able to finish the first book.**

* * *

_Hey, you've got all the money, honey_

_Your eyes are looking runny and red_

_-"Pantomime," by Imagine Dragons_

::0123456789::

The morning was supposed to be safe, happy. I was supposed to wake up refreshed. I was supposed to love myself and stand up for what's right.

Instead, I went about my usually routine of glamours and cosmetics and gossip.

We had multiple classes with those arrogant, free Gryffindors. And in each and every one, Boy Wonder stared at me the whole time.

But in Potions, he took it one step too far. I walked in early and sat, perfectly poised, in my normal seat. But Potter strutted in just after me, and took the seat that was supposed to be Draco's. The whole Slytherin hierarchy was figured out long before Hogwarts, and always followed, but all of the sudden, Boy Wonder ruins it.

"Lovely day, isn't it, Sage? Perfect winter weather! The snow looks just dazzling!"

His speech must've been to cheer me up. I pursed my lips and stared ahead. He didn't bother me, not at all.

If you can't tell, I figured lying to myself would eventually work.

Slowly, more classmates filtered in. I kept my gaze steely, but I saw (out of the corner of my eye) the disgust on Draco's face- until he saw mine. He understood- just a tiny bit, but enough. Boy Wonder's friends were both mortified to see him by a dreaded Slytherin, and sat in the empty table beside us.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking, Harry?"

The harsh whisper belonged to the Weasel.

"It's a long story."

His refusal to explain startled me- though it didn't show. I was trained too well. But, didn't he tell everything to the bumbling idiots beside us?

Class began with pitying looks from Snape. Potter received glares.

"Today," he drawled, "We will be doing a partner potion. Instructions on the board." And with a wave of his wand, the directions were up.

I suffered. Boy Wonder was completely incompetent when it came to potion making. He couldn't cut, shred, mash, boil, stir- anything that required anything.

Hallways through, he was still complimenting the weather, stirring the potion while I worked on shredding some roots.

I picked up my finished roots, ready to add them to a burgundy coloured, runny liquid, when I turned to see a thick, grey, boiling mess spilling over the top.

I couldn't hold it in.

"POTTER!" I screeched, "WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN ARE YOU DOING TO MY POTION?"

The class turned to face the pair of us. Potter turned red. And, as Professor Snape approached, I knew that nothing could ever fix the mess he had made. Not only was the potion a mess, but my reputation? It was down the gutter. I would never, ever recover. Not after something like this.

"Mr. Potter, just what have you done to the potion?" Professor Snape sneered.

Boy Wonder was visibly quaking. "I don't know, sir."

"Miss Rosier," he addressed, turning to me, "have you got any clue?"

I straightened up and replaced my icy cold mask. "After adding in the powdered asphodel root, I began shredding the root of daphnia. Mr. Potter was supposed to stir the potion six times counterclockwise and then two clockwise to turn to potion a runny burgundy. Based on the thick, bubbling grey mess he has turned it to, he stirred six times clockwise then two counterclockwise."

Professor Snape gave a sharp nod. "Exactly. You will receive credit for your knowledge on the potion. Begin your essay that I have assigned as homework. As for you, Mr. Potter, you will spend the rest of the period cleaning up you catastrophe. For homework, will have to write and additional essay three rolls of parchment long on the effects of drinking a potion such as the failed one you had ended up making and what it would do."

::0123456789::

I refused to speak a word for the rest of the day. Boy Wonder was too embarrassed to say anything. Word of the incident spread, and I kept getting sly glances all day.

It was almost as bad as the beginning of the year.

After Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Lupin called both Potter and I to stay after class.

"Harry, Sage, I heard about the Potions accident earlier. It seems you have both been affected."

I clenched my teeth and counted to ten in my head. Affected? I was sitting alone in the back corner of all my classes, didn't speak, and had received ridicule beyond belief! And all he had to deal with was inner turmoil. His friends hadn't said a word all day!

"Sorry, Sage… I hadn't meant to," Potter apologised.

With a bored tone, I drawled, "May I leave now?"

With a sad look in his eyes, Professor Lupin nodded and I stalked out. As I closed the door softly behind me, I cast a charm and was invisible to all passersby- and was able to hear the conversation I had left behind.

"…Just unused to showing emotions," I head Professor Lupin saying.

"But that doesn't explain why she screamed! I mean, she could've tried to fix it, couldn't she?"

"She was upset, Harry. She and her friends have a pattern- the Slytherins always have. The teachers and I, my friends and I- we've all seen it through the years. They have specific spots at the table in the Great Hall. They always sit by certain people, work with certain people, arrive at specific times, look a certain way- everything. A friend of mine, whose whole family had been in Slytherin, was supposed to be Sorted into Slytherin, but he was put into Gryffindor instead. He explained that they had assigned seating charts the parents put together, corresponding with blood purity and who you were to marry in the future. And that hasn't changed. They still have arranged marriages and everything. Sage is no different."

"Arranged marriages?"

"The parents of a baby girl will hold an auction as soon as they find out that their child will be a girl. The family that pays the most gets the daughter's hand in marriage. The families figure out a date of marriage, and it's all set in stone. The children normally meet once they are old enough to understand proper etiquette."

"Who- who will Sage have to marry?"

"Cassius Warrington, a fifth year."

"Oh. Why doesn't she fight back?"

"Her habits are ingrained into her, just like yours are to you. If she protests a single word, she could be thrown to the streets, her wand snapped, possibly even killed. Just for a word."

"Why can't we fix it?"

"Her mother's cousin- my friend- tried. He took her away. Hid her. But it didn't work. The Ministry took her to her grandparents and multiple contracts were signed just to keep the family from dishonor."

"Who are the Rosiers?"

"That's just the name she carries. Her mother and father were Lestranges, but her mother's mother and father took her in and gave Sage her grandmother's maiden name on agreement to change their names, also. It was a big deal when she was three. They went to court because her mother and father were criminals, as was the rest of that family. They were forced to become Rosiers because the Black family was too dangerous to have the name carried by innocents."

"So what should her name be?"

"Sagittaria Lestrange."

"Okay."

"Go eat dinner, Harry. It's late."

"Thank you, Professor."

"You're welcome."

I took in a deep breath and held it, my mind racing. He knew too much. They both knew too much. I had already come to terms with my life as a trophy, but Potter wasn't known for leaving things alone.

As he passed by, I could see worry creasing his eyebrow.

He wouldn't let this go, not until a mess had been made.

::0123456789::

A week later, it was six days before holidays. Potter had sat beside me in every class, partnered with me on every project, even Potions (though he left most of the work to me). Professor Dumbledore had quieted everyone down for an important announcement.

"Now, you wee all told to bring dress robes to school, and you may be wondering why. The time has come for you to be told.

"The last night of the semester will be a dance. Now, quiet you mutterings, because there is more to it. All parents or guardians have been invited out for the evening. Isn't that exciting?"

"But that means there will be Muggles!" I heard a younger Slytherin speak out. All those who heard him nodded.

We were dismissed, and my head was spinning. I had received news that my grandmother was ill and on her deathbed a few days ago, so I knew she wasn't coming, and I was staying over the holidays.

The girls were buzzing with excitement. As soon as we got to the dorms, they began to pull out their expensive dress robes and accessories. We compared them, and I squealed along. It was just another long day.

::0123456789::

In bed that night, I cried- silently, of course.

I would have to see them, deal with it all. This semester had been crazy. The Bogart, glasses, Sirius breaking into Hogwarts (That had terrified me, but you needn't know much about that. It wasn't the biggest deal), the photo album, Boy Wonder's "Help."

This dance was going to be the end of me.

_Why are you crying, Sage? You've got the fortune, the items. Yet, you look so tired, so sad. _

That night, I fell asleep to Lily's lullabies.


End file.
